Sunday, March 29, 2009

love

I love Africa. Not like I love ice cream. Like I love my family.
I also love Brazil. Not like I love my family. Like I love a good friend.
What does this mean? I feel peace about being in Brazil right now. I am looking forward to returning and working with the ministry there. I think World Renewal, Brazil is on to something big and am excited to be a part of it. I have a place and am excited that what I do could lead to doors being opened wider for the school and World Renewal. I pray for Brazil. I want to learn from Brazil. I want to follow the Lord's leading & I believe that He is leading towards Brazil for this time. And because of that, I will go to Brazil.
...But I still love Africa.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

This Blog

I read something the other day about blogs. It said that if you want to start a blog, commit to writing 3-5 times a week, or don't bother.
But here's the thing...I'm not that good.
I like having written. But the process of writing isn't so much fun, really. I really don't like it unless I've spent a good week or two mulling the topic over in my head. And I'm not one of those people who can mull multiple things at the same time.
So, this isn't going to be a typical blog. I'm not going to update it 3-5 days a week unless I really really feel like it...which could happen. But probably won't. So, if you feel like following this thing, my advice is to check up once a month. If I decided to go crazy and write 2 or 3 enteries that month you can read it then. If there's something crazy important that you should know, like if I get on the wrong bus and go to the Amazon and get eaten by an Anaconda, there's really nothing you could do about it here in the States. And if I think you can do something about it, I'll send a smoke signal or something.
BUT, I will promise to try really hard to post something, anything, once a month. So, if you care, check. If you don't, don't. If you kinda do, but not really, check only when people mention it on Facebook.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Wait

I have entered a new chapter in my life. At first I didn't realize that it would be a chapter, I thought maybe a passing thought within another chapter, but an entire chapter? No. Now it's a chapter. And it's called Wait.
Most specifically this means waiting for a visa, so that I can return to Brazil. Less specifically this means waiting for a career, a husband, a home, stability, and countless other things.

Part of me loves this chapter.
I get to spend time with people that I love & people who love me, the people that I crave time with when I'm away. I can hang out at my parents' house without worrying about rent or any other essential part of life. I get to relax, not worrying about culture or language. I know how I am supposed to act in almost every situation. I can communicate everything I want to say very effectively. I know what people mean, even if they don't say it. I know my way around and nobody worries if I drive off into the sunset and don't come back for several hours. I have a car. I can understand what's going on in church and participate fully. I can watch American Idol with my family. Seriously, now. Life is easy.
But another part of me says I really don't like this chapter.
Why have a chapter entitled Wait when there are so many other chapters that seem so much more important? Aren't there better things I could be doing with my time? Couldn't I be given an estimated time of arrival for the next chapter? Couldn't I at least know if the visa will arrive someday?? Why can't it just be easy? I could go on...but I think you get the point.

But the other day I was reading (something else I am thankful that I have time to do) and came across a poem. It hit me (actually the whole book has hit me) I read it over and over again. Here it is:

I wait.
Dear Lord, Thy ways
Are past finding out,
Thy love too high.
O hold me still
Beneath Thy shadow.
It is enough that Thou
Lift up the light
Of Thy countanence.
I wait-
Because I am commanded
So to do. My mind
Is filled with wanderings.
My soul asks "Why?"
But then the quiet word,
"Wait thou only
Upon God."
And so, not even for the light
To show a step ahead,
But for Thee, dear Lord,
I wait.

-Elisabeth Elliot
Passion & Purity