Wait

I have entered a new chapter in my life. At first I didn't realize that it would be a chapter, I thought maybe a passing thought within another chapter, but an entire chapter? No. Now it's a chapter. And it's called Wait.
Most specifically this means waiting for a visa, so that I can return to Brazil. Less specifically this means waiting for a career, a husband, a home, stability, and countless other things.

Part of me loves this chapter.
I get to spend time with people that I love & people who love me, the people that I crave time with when I'm away. I can hang out at my parents' house without worrying about rent or any other essential part of life. I get to relax, not worrying about culture or language. I know how I am supposed to act in almost every situation. I can communicate everything I want to say very effectively. I know what people mean, even if they don't say it. I know my way around and nobody worries if I drive off into the sunset and don't come back for several hours. I have a car. I can understand what's going on in church and participate fully. I can watch American Idol with my family. Seriously, now. Life is easy.
But another part of me says I really don't like this chapter.
Why have a chapter entitled Wait when there are so many other chapters that seem so much more important? Aren't there better things I could be doing with my time? Couldn't I be given an estimated time of arrival for the next chapter? Couldn't I at least know if the visa will arrive someday?? Why can't it just be easy? I could go on...but I think you get the point.

But the other day I was reading (something else I am thankful that I have time to do) and came across a poem. It hit me (actually the whole book has hit me) I read it over and over again. Here it is:

I wait.
Dear Lord, Thy ways
Are past finding out,
Thy love too high.
O hold me still
Beneath Thy shadow.
It is enough that Thou
Lift up the light
Of Thy countanence.
I wait-
Because I am commanded
So to do. My mind
Is filled with wanderings.
My soul asks "Why?"
But then the quiet word,
"Wait thou only
Upon God."
And so, not even for the light
To show a step ahead,
But for Thee, dear Lord,
I wait.

-Elisabeth Elliot
Passion & Purity